tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60629209440800184362024-03-12T18:20:48.267-07:00Offshoots: Poetry & Prose of Darcy McMurteryPoetry and Prose of Darcy McMurteryDarcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-78058483461439843362017-05-09T20:32:00.001-07:002017-05-09T20:58:08.586-07:00Intelligence Picked Up by the Oval Office's Himalyan Salt Lamp<div id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489783619159_4109" style="background-color: white;">
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">1/25/17 11:36 am<br />Trump: My hands are cold. Somebody go get me some some Isotoners. Size small, please. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br />2/1/17 3:36 pm<br />Trump: My socks are falling down. No don't use that. That's the tie tape. Everybody knows that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br />2/13/17, 10:36am<br />Trump:What's the update on my next inaugural ball? It's gotta be huge. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Female voice: The party planners are on it, Mr. President. It will cost a lot.<br />Trump: Let's start looking at ways to trim the budget. I'm sure a few things can go.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /><span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489787717492_4807" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">2/23/17, 11:21 am</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Recorded Voice: Repeat after me:Good morning. <span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489785179271_5009" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">Dob</span>raye <span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489785179271_5010" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">oo</span>tro<br />Trump: Good morning. Doh-bray utero.<br />Recorded voice: Repeat after me: My Russian is bad. Ya <span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489785179271_5184" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">plo</span>kha gava<span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489785179271_5185" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">ryoo</span> pa <span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489785179271_5186" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">roos</span>kee<br />Trump: My Russian is bad. Yah ploke-ha gav-a-ree-yoo pah roosky.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br />2/24/17, 10:12am<br />Trump: Did you say tee time or tea time? No, not pee time. Rude!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br />3/1/17, 9:07am<br />Recorded Voice: Repeat after me: How are you? Kak pazhi<span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489787717492_3922" style="font-family: "verdana" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">vayesh?</span><span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489787717492_3923" style="background-color: #e8e8e8;"><br /></span>Trump: How are you? Kok pa-zhi-vay-esh.<br />Recorded Voice: Repeat after me: Fine, thanks! Spaseeba preekrasna</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489787717492_4446" style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Trump: Fine, thanks! Spaz-eeba puree-kras-na.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: "verdana" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>3/7/17, 10:36pm<br />Trump: Welcome to my office. Keep your voices low, I think I'm being recorded by the umbrella stand. I don't like to divulge secrets, but we should start by being completely honest with each other. Here goes: I didn't really write Art of the Deal. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br />3/7/17, 10:48pm<br />Trump: What am I signing? I don't understand. Ya nee panee<span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489785179271_5308" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">ma</span>yoo<br />(muffled voice)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Trump: Ok. I understand. Ya panee</span><span id="yiv8817298400yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1489785179271_5712" style="font-size: large;">ma</span><span style="font-size: large;">yoo</span></span></div>
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Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-28707349035056720452016-08-04T09:32:00.002-07:002016-08-04T09:32:55.827-07:00Tiny Words, For Sale-Cheap:<div>
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<i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Feast-Needs-Stories-Darcy-McMurtery/dp/0983263574/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470328303&sr=8-1&keywords=feast+of+needs+stories" target="_blank">Feast of Needs: Stories</a></i> for sale on Amazon. </div>
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Short enough to read on the can, not big enough to prop open a door. </div>
Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-27209734723081867012015-10-01T09:11:00.000-07:002015-10-01T09:11:15.357-07:00Poetry On Buses: Writing Homehttp://poetryonbuses.org/poems/darcy-mcmurtery/<br />
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">THE PROPOSAL</span></h1>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">After the war, orders sent him west.</span><br /><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">In tidy lines he wrote:</span><br /><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Come see the ocean, stay for dinner.</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">She packed his photo and her best dress into a single suitcase.</span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">As waving wheat stalks slid past train windows, </span><br /><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">she closed her eyes and smiled at</span><br /><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">dreams of a home.</span></div>
<br />Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-31207719550204471802015-09-20T15:27:00.000-07:002015-09-20T15:27:01.676-07:00A Forthcoming Book and a Reading<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggUCP5ygW6FCwTAN52hYIUlNFZE_qP2kLE0lVeNEeZeVStG_RTf4AVF6IhYST3ab_9TNwW5FA9X46Ze6x2pkL9nriNXGvgOU0mD8bJExewaC5N2k4WFvZHVsMMf2CjkZpCvWGzG_dO1UK8/s1600/hot+piece+of+flash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggUCP5ygW6FCwTAN52hYIUlNFZE_qP2kLE0lVeNEeZeVStG_RTf4AVF6IhYST3ab_9TNwW5FA9X46Ze6x2pkL9nriNXGvgOU0mD8bJExewaC5N2k4WFvZHVsMMf2CjkZpCvWGzG_dO1UK8/s320/hot+piece+of+flash.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
My forthcoming chapbook, Feast of Needs, will be release this fall by Piecemeal Press.<br />Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-18769292031452737182015-07-08T16:10:00.002-07:002015-07-08T16:16:08.026-07:00I have a new piece up on McSweeney's.<i> </i><a href="http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/invitation-for-advanced-placement-testing" target="_blank"><i>Invitation for Advanced Placement Testing</i></a> came out of my fourteen years of working within the AP set. As they say, write what you know.Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-33752631617858213532014-12-15T15:26:00.001-08:002014-12-27T16:54:02.359-08:00One Sentence PoemsThese appeared recently in <i><a href="http://www.onesentencepoems.com/osp/" target="_blank">One Sentence Poems</a></i>.<br />
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<i><b><a href="http://www.onesentencepoems.com/osp/darcy-mcmurtery-book-club/" target="_blank">Book Club</a></b></i><br />
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After she told us about the lump<br />
we walked to our cars<br />
in silence,<br />
hugging our books to our chests.<br />
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<b><i><a href="http://www.onesentencepoems.com/osp/darcy-mcmurtery-communion/" target="_blank">Communion</a></i></b><br />
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While kneeling, we giggled at<br />
shoes that looked like baked potatoes,<br />
swallowing the thick ankles of spinsters who didn't sin,<br />
imagining the day we could join that line<br />
wearing tight blouses and glossy heels that clicked, resonating through the sanctuary.Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-5346371192387952322014-11-12T12:08:00.004-08:002014-11-12T12:08:49.413-08:00Poetry on BusesI'm delighted to announce that my poem, <i>The Proposal</i>, has been selected as part of the online collection for <a href="http://poetryonbuses.org/poem-archive/" target="_blank">Poetry on Buses</a>.Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-25466422646817772742014-11-01T16:02:00.001-07:002014-11-01T16:10:43.984-07:00Anthologized II<br />
<i>Worth Your Weight</i> appeared in another <a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=DtI5AwAAQBAJ&pg=PA58&lpg=PA58&dq=%22darcy+mcmurtery%22&source=bl&ots=_LdkaXkO5o&sig=tTjGWu92nb2BkK7gsPBzCVtVO_k&hl=en&sa=X&ei=wmVVVIacGNW5oQTkrIDgAQ&ved=0CEAQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q=%22darcy%20mcmurtery%22&f=false" target="_blank">anthology</a>.Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-81192291876229184632013-07-24T11:39:00.001-07:002013-07-24T11:39:27.094-07:00Haiku HullabalooSeattle Public Library chose one of my haiku for the April<a href="http://www.spl.org/haiku" target="_blank"> </a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" target="_blank">Haiku Hullabaloo</a>.Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-90124244438775745702012-12-10T11:43:00.003-08:002012-12-10T11:43:59.932-08:00<a href="http://www.everydaypoets.com/print-books/the-best-of-every-day-poets-two-anthology/" target="_blank">The Best of Every Day Poets Volume Two</a> has been released. Poetry is the best gift. Order your copy today!Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-1452103575418075382012-06-28T16:49:00.003-07:002012-06-28T16:49:41.356-07:00Anthologized!One of my poems will appear in an anthology later in the year. Stay tuned!Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-78076933056399322352012-01-08T14:22:00.000-08:002014-12-15T15:21:38.834-08:00Haiku!I admit it. Haiku is my favorite. Three more of my 17 syllable snarkygrams have been accepted into the December 2011 issue of <a href="http://www.highcoup.org/2011/12/high-coup-journal-december-2011-issue.html" target="_blank">High Coup Journal</a>.<br />
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<br />Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-1415063758310674842011-03-03T09:03:00.001-08:002011-03-04T20:12:53.717-08:00High Coup Journal<span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.highcoup.org/">March 2011</a></span>Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-21079006180410089262010-10-01T10:22:00.000-07:002010-11-01T12:47:12.047-07:00High Coup Journal<a href="http://www.highcoup.org/2010/10/high-coup-journal-october-2010-issue.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">October 2010</span></a>Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-20213194511501237262010-09-05T14:18:00.001-07:002010-09-05T14:19:42.967-07:00Short, Fast, and Deadly<a href="http://www.shortfastanddeadly.com/2010/09/worth-your-weight.html">Worth Your Weight</a><br /><br />Issue #39, The Ghost IssueDarcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-80820487808488810532010-07-27T08:37:00.000-07:002010-07-27T08:40:00.888-07:00Everyday Weirdness<a href="http://everydayweirdness.com/e/20100725/"><span style="font-size:130%;">Feast of Needs</span></a>Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-84388687779801570452010-03-07T09:18:00.000-08:002010-03-07T09:19:02.615-08:00Every Day Poets<a href="http://www.everydaypoets.com/?s=darcy+mcmurtery"><span style="font-size:130%;">Market, Closing Time</span></a>Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-72108712954275250142010-02-21T12:52:00.000-08:002014-11-01T16:13:14.492-07:00Valentine Haiku<a href="http://4and20poetry.com/"><span style="font-size: 130%;">4 and 20 </span></a><span style="font-size: 130%;">chose one of my haiku for Valentine's day:<br /><br />I want the last word.<br />But that means I will have to<br />speak to you again.</span>Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-212351030833001102009-12-15T06:30:00.000-08:002010-03-07T09:22:40.857-08:004 and 20 Poetry Journal, December 2009<span style="font-size:130%;">Experiments in short form poetry:<br /><br /><a href="http://web.me.com/decedit/4and20files/Files_files/4and20_December_2009.pdf">Tightrope<br />Staff Meeting<br />Unrequited Love</a></span>Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-51428387278126290922009-09-14T11:17:00.000-07:002010-03-07T09:24:59.040-08:00Shoots & Vines, Featured Writer Sept 11-13<a href="http://www.shootsandvines.com/?cat=235&paged=3"><span style="font-size:130%;">Day 1</span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><em>Heirloom</em><br /><em>Jacob's Ladder</em><br /><br /></span><a href="http://www.shootsandvines.com/?cat=235&paged=2"><span style="font-size:130%;">Day 2</span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><em>The Anniversary Dinner</em><br /><br /></span><a href="http://www.shootsandvines.com/?s=darcy+mcmurtery"><span style="font-size:130%;">Day 3</span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><em>Cleaning</em><br /><em>Sisters</em><br /><em>Regrets</em><br /><em>Mountains by Sundown</em></span>Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6062920944080018436.post-1871605791125577162009-08-20T12:43:00.000-07:002009-09-15T17:04:59.186-07:00tinfoildresses poetry journal Summer 2009<div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"><em><span style="font-size:130%;">2 poems: </span><a href="http://tinfoildresses.synthasite.com/summer-2009.php"><span style="font-size:130%;">Yarn and Quincy, Washington</span></a></em><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><a href="http://tinfoildresses.synthasite.com/summer-2009.php"><em></em></a><br /><strong><a href="http://www.box.net/shared/jsr88b93jc"><span style="font-size:130%;">Listen</span></a></strong><span style="font-size:130%;"> to these poems read on KSER's Global Griot</span>.Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07410451544540488263noreply@blogger.com0