Intelligence Picked Up by the Oval Office's Himalyan Salt Lamp

1/25/17 11:36 am
Trump: My hands are cold. Somebody go get me some some Isotoners. Size small, please. 

2/1/17 3:36 pm
Trump: My socks are falling down. No don't use that. That's the tie tape. Everybody knows that. 

2/13/17, 10:36am
Trump:What's the update on my next inaugural ball? It's gotta be huge. 
Female voice: The party planners are on it, Mr. President. It will cost a lot.
Trump: Let's start looking at ways to trim the budget. I'm sure a few things can go.

2/23/17, 11:21 am
Recorded Voice: Repeat after me:Good morning. Dobraye ootro
Trump: Good morning. Doh-bray utero.
Recorded voice: Repeat after me: My Russian is bad. Ya plokha gavaryoo pa rooskee
Trump: My Russian is bad. Yah ploke-ha gav-a-ree-yoo pah roosky.

2/24/17, 10:12am
Trump: Did you say tee time or tea time? No, not pee time. Rude!

3/1/17, 9:07am
Recorded Voice: Repeat after me: How are you? Kak pazhivayesh?
Trump: How are you? Kok pa-zhi-vay-esh.
Recorded Voice: Repeat after me: Fine, thanks! Spaseeba preekrasna.
Trump: Fine, thanks! Spaz-eeba puree-kras-na.

3/7/17, 10:36pm
Trump: Welcome to my office. Keep your voices low, I think I'm being recorded by the umbrella stand. I don't like to divulge secrets, but we should start by being completely honest with each other. Here goes: I didn't really write Art of the Deal. 

3/7/17, 10:48pm
Trump: What am I signing? I don't understand. Ya nee paneemayoo
(muffled voice)
Trump: Ok. I understand. Ya paneemayoo

Tiny Words, For Sale-Cheap:

Feast of Needs: Stories for sale on Amazon. 

Short enough to read on the can, not big enough to prop open a door. 

Poetry On Buses: Writing Home

http://poetryonbuses.org/poems/darcy-mcmurtery/

THE PROPOSAL

After the war, orders sent him west.
In tidy lines he wrote:
Come see the ocean, stay for dinner.

She packed his photo and her best dress into a single suitcase.

As waving wheat stalks slid past train windows, 
she closed her eyes and smiled at
dreams of a home.

A Forthcoming Book and a Reading

My forthcoming chapbook, Feast of Needs, will be release this fall by Piecemeal Press.

I have a new piece up on McSweeney's. Invitation for Advanced Placement Testing came out of my fourteen years of working within the AP set. As they say, write what you know.

One Sentence Poems

These appeared recently in One Sentence Poems.

Book Club

After she told us about the lump
we walked to our cars
in silence,
hugging our books to our chests.


Communion

While kneeling, we giggled at
shoes that looked like baked potatoes,
swallowing the thick ankles of spinsters who didn't sin,
imagining the day we could join that line
wearing tight blouses and glossy heels that clicked, resonating through the sanctuary.

Poetry on Buses

I'm delighted to announce that my poem, The Proposal, has been selected as part of the online collection for Poetry on Buses.