Intelligence Picked Up by the Oval Office's Himalyan Salt Lamp

1/25/17 11:36 am
Trump: My hands are cold. Somebody go get me some some Isotoners. Size small, please. 

2/1/17 3:36 pm
Trump: My socks are falling down. No don't use that. That's the tie tape. Everybody knows that. 

2/13/17, 10:36am
Trump:What's the update on my next inaugural ball? It's gotta be huge. 
Female voice: The party planners are on it, Mr. President. It will cost a lot.
Trump: Let's start looking at ways to trim the budget. I'm sure a few things can go.

2/23/17, 11:21 am
Recorded Voice: Repeat after me:Good morning. Dobraye ootro
Trump: Good morning. Doh-bray utero.
Recorded voice: Repeat after me: My Russian is bad. Ya plokha gavaryoo pa rooskee
Trump: My Russian is bad. Yah ploke-ha gav-a-ree-yoo pah roosky.

2/24/17, 10:12am
Trump: Did you say tee time or tea time? No, not pee time. Rude!

3/1/17, 9:07am
Recorded Voice: Repeat after me: How are you? Kak pazhivayesh?
Trump: How are you? Kok pa-zhi-vay-esh.
Recorded Voice: Repeat after me: Fine, thanks! Spaseeba preekrasna.
Trump: Fine, thanks! Spaz-eeba puree-kras-na.

3/7/17, 10:36pm
Trump: Welcome to my office. Keep your voices low, I think I'm being recorded by the umbrella stand. I don't like to divulge secrets, but we should start by being completely honest with each other. Here goes: I didn't really write Art of the Deal. 

3/7/17, 10:48pm
Trump: What am I signing? I don't understand. Ya nee paneemayoo
(muffled voice)
Trump: Ok. I understand. Ya paneemayoo